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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24994327">Asphyxia</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/OikawaDork/pseuds/OikawaDork'>OikawaDork</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Don't expect a really happy ending, Hanahaki Disease, Implied Akashi/Mayuzumi, M/M, One-Sided Attraction, Unrequited Love, wrote it out of boredom</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 03:34:01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,880</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24994327</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/OikawaDork/pseuds/OikawaDork</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>The flowers are already suffocating him. Blocking his airway that prevents him to breathe properly. What's worse is that he's suffocated by one-sided love</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Akashi Seijuurou/Kuroko Tetsuya</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>59</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Asphyxia</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Don't expect too much because I just wrote this ti entertain myself lol anyways, enjoy still</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Kuroko has been pining over his former redhead captain for years. Three years of him sending adoring glances to him, secret smiles, a gaze with pure admiration, and how he would talk gently to him as if he was a glass preventing him from shattering. Kuroko had liked Akashi since their second year in middle school. Although Akashi doesn't notice him or he was being treated as a teammate or a friend, he still couldn't give up on his feelings. Kuroko thinks of Akashi as a seraph. For his physical looks, to him Akashi's an angel. The highest-ranking celestial beings in the hierarchy of angels. His outside looks was too beautiful for him to admire</p><p> </p><p>Akashi is kind. Kuroko supposed he should say that he 'was' kind. What happened back in their last year of Teiko change something about Kuroko's thoughts of him. But even if Akashi became obsessed over winning, his feelings didn't fade away</p><p> </p><p>Seirin won the match. Kuroko was happy for two reasons: one is that they got to prove their strength and got recognized and admired by many people, two is that Akashi had finally gotten back to his old self. The one where his eyes are both red. No heterochromia involved. The one Kuroko had adored since their first encounter. Kuroko felt his heart racing again when Akashi shook his hand and congratulate him with a gentle smile. Oh how Kuroko deeply admires it</p><p> </p><p>He decided he is going to tell Akashi what he truly feels. Kuroko was happy and feeling confident. However,</p><p> </p><p>The joy was soon replaced with terror when he found himself in the rest room coughing up petals </p><p> </p><p>Kuroko looked at the red petals stained with blood on his hands and on the floor. His eyes are wide as he stared at them. Panic arises and in an instant, the petals were flushed in the toilet. He made sure to wash the blood in his hands and mouth properly. As he walk out of the rest room and headed to his teammates, he saw Akashi across them, smiling gently at his teammates as they argue where to have dinner. He gazes at them with amusement but it was specifically directed at Mayuzumi. Kuroko felt his heart aches</p><p> </p><p>"Akashi and Mayuzumi-san can just sit in a couple's seat" Kuroko heard the dark skinned male talked. Immediately, his heart shattered</p><p> </p><p>"That would be a misunderstanding. We're not even together" It was Mayuzumi who protested</p><p> </p><p>"Not yet~" Mibuchi added as he tip toe his way over their redhead captain</p><p> </p><p>"Stop saying those things" Kuroko heard Akashi talked noticing the pink hue on his cheeks as he shift his gazr back at Mayuzumi. Kuroko smiled bitterly</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>So that's why I coughed up petals. Akashi-kun desires to be with someone else</em>
</p><p> </p><p>"Kuroko! Let's go. The senpai already decided where to celebrate" Kagami called as he walk with the others. Kuroko immediately went after them. He looked back to see how Akashi and Mayuzumi were actually close together. He clicked his tongue</p><p> </p><p><em>Took me years to get my confession ready. It turns out my love will forever be unknown </em>Buried in the deep piles of the shattered pieces of his heart</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>After that, as soon as he got home, The first thing he did was to search about "Hanahaki disease"</p><p> </p><p>The majority of the color of petals were red. The same color as Akashi's hair and eyes. Kuroko mused. A person would be affected by the disease if their feelings are never returned by their loved one. Resulting them to have flowers bloomed in their lungs and caused them to cough up petals. They die when the disease is not treated and if it's ignored for a long time until it gets worse. The only way to remove it is that the love must not be one-sided. Or you can have it removed by the surgeon but feelings will be removed with them</p><p> </p><p>Kuroko chuckles apathetically</p><p> </p><p>"It's not like Akashi-kun will ever return it. Nor it will be removed with operation. We don't have enough money for that"</p><p> </p><p>Again. He started coughing</p><p> </p><p>Blood stained his hands and flower petals scattered everywhere. Another thing he learned is that the petals where from a flower called Amaryllis. With a color of white in the middle of every petals. Signifies pride, confidence, and achievement. Just like Akashi</p><p> </p><p>"Oh the irony" And again, he continued on coughing</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Day by day, the disease grew incredibly worse. The shade of red were getting darker and darker. His cough getting more violent. Throwing up a little more blood than usual. He hasn't told anyone yet. He doesn't want to. And he will never</p><p> </p><p>His teammates started noticing his discomfort and a little terrified eyes whenever he started to cough. He was immediately asked what's wrong? Or, is he alright? Does he want to rest first? Kuroko answered it with a simple "Nothing. It's alright. I will be fine"</p><p> </p><p>Even if he's not fine at all</p><p> </p><p>Every night Kuroko struggled to sleep peacefully. Keeping it from his parents is a hard work as well. He had to restrain himself from coughing too loud. It feels so suffocating. Kuroko couldn't breathe properly anymore. He just wanted to end this all. But he couldn't bring himself to end his life</p><p> </p><p>The love he has for Akashi. He doesn't want to remove it. He wants it to be with him forever. Together with him in the grave. Akashi's too precious for him. He couldn't bring himself to let him go. This love is killing him. This love is suffocating him. The flowers are taking his breath away little by little</p><p> </p><p>This is his kind of asphyxia</p><p> </p><p>Kuroko felt a lump in his throat again. He immediately get out of the bed to get on the sink. Petals were thrown alongside with a bit of blood dripping out of his mouth. Kuroko looks up in the mirror and take time staring at his dull blue eyes and pale skin. He grins weakly</p><p> </p><p>"Heh.."</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Kuroko and the rest of the members of Generation of Miracles including Momoi are currently at Maji burger right now. Kise suggested that they should at least hang out together again for once a month or twice. The others agreed especially Momoi. She was very happy to see them together again. It's like watching her children. Everyone was there and happy. Midorima sat across Murasakibara, Aomine with Kise, and Akashi with Kuroko. Momoi was at the very edge of the table beside Kuroko and was currently scolding Aomine for something</p><p> </p><p>Kuroko awkwardly sat there. Akashi was in front of him but his attention was on Midorima and his phone. (Probably texting Mayuzumi). They were talking like they were in middle school. Murasakibara was munching on his sweets. Kise is still cheerful as ever and still challenging Aomine in almost everything. Midorima was holding his lucky item which is a small cat stuffed toy. And it's cute. Very cute. Akashi had said it since he likes cats. That's one of the things Kuroko likes about him</p><p> </p><p>Akashi noticed Kuroko's gaze at him. Kuroko slightly blushed now that he got caught. Akashi sends him a sweet warm smile. Very warm and sweet. Kuroko love to melt within it. Akashi is too much for him. Too much for himself to handle</p><p> </p><p>"Would you guys mind sharing stories of your love lives??" Kise chimed in with a teasing smile on his face. Aomine scowled and Midorima averted his eyes somewhere</p><p> </p><p>"We all know about Midorin's. His partner is talkative he reveals almost everything and we're thankful for it!" Momoi said cheerfully </p><p> </p><p>"That's the problem! Takao won't ever stop until he is satisfied with people's reactions—nanodayo" Midorima said irritated</p><p> </p><p>"Ah, Muro-chin and I are fine. We just cuddle, that's all" Murasakibara joined the talk and idly brought up a chip on his mouth. Kise was not satisfied with the answer so he question him further. Murasakibara stopped him by shoving a piece of bread on his mouth. Much to the blonde's protest</p><p> </p><p>"I don't really have a partner–yet" Aomine answered when he was asked next. He's love interest is actually Kagami. He revealed to them</p><p> </p><p>"Basketball idiots.." Kuroko blurts out, stopped sipping on his milkshake, and causing Aomine to almost throw a bread on his face in annoyance but he catch it immediately. Everyone laughs and teased tanned male further. Akashi silently watched them with a small smile on his face</p><p> </p><p>"You know, you should be more like me! Look, I get to date Kasamatsu-senpai and didn't get rejected–ssu!" Kise's voice rings in Aomine's ear loudly causing him to snap at him saying "Shut up!" on his face</p><p> </p><p>As they argue about it, Momoi was somehow got involved because of her sudden crush on Seirin's coach. Which she immediately denied and failed </p><p> </p><p>"Tetsu-kun is the only one I like!" Kuroko glance at her sideways. He doesn't believe it. She was clearly in love with Aida Riko right now</p><p> </p><p>"You mean, like as a friend? Because I know you like Seirin's coach more than that" Akashi replies earning a whine from the pinkette</p><p> </p><p>"But how about you Akashi-kun? Who do you like or, love?" It was Kuroko who asked. Everyone silenced. They knew about Kuroko's crush and attempted confessions. Throughout a whole two years they knew how Kuroko would stare at their beloved captain with adoring gazes. Akashi was the only oblivious dork</p><p> </p><p>"Um, well" Akashi slightly looks down on his lap. He could clearly hear Kise whispering that he is blushing</p><p> </p><p>"Come on Akashicchi! Is it a certain phantom~?" Kise asked raising his eyebrow in a teasing manner. Akashi looks away</p><p> </p><p>"Yes"</p><p> </p><p>"Does our dear former captain likes this person because of its blunt personality?" It is Aomine who asked with a knowing smirk and quickly glance at their sixth man</p><p> </p><p>"Kinda.." Kuroko doesn't quite like where this is going. He already knows the answer. So he chose to pretend he was busy sipping from his vanilla milkshake</p><p> </p><p>"Our Akashi-kun is in love! This person has small presence, isn't it?" Momoi exclaimed. Hearts in her eyes and Akashi raised an eyebrow at her. Kuroko felt like sinking</p><p> </p><p>"U-Um?" Akashi uncharacteristically stuttered</p><p> </p><p>Midorima sigh and pushed up his glasses. He knew where his teammates are getting at. They are expecting the answer to be Kuroko</p><p> </p><p>"So who is it Aka-chin? I'm quite curious too" Akashi inhales before letting it out calmly </p><p> </p><p>"Mayuzumi-san"</p><p> </p><p>Everyone shut up for a second. Kise's eyes were wide. Aomine feels like letting his jaw drop on the ground. Momoi is floored. Murasakibara just keep on munching and Midorima kind of expected the answer</p><p> </p><p>Kuroko lower his gaze and put his drink down. Akashi knitted his eyebrows slightly at the sudden silence</p><p> </p><p>"Is there something wrong...?"</p><p> </p><p>Immediately, everyone got back to their previous behavior. Kise was grinning again and so was Momoi. Aomine couldn't smile that much because he was too surprised. They immediately told him there's no problem and they're happy for him. Kuroko was the one who initiated saying the "happy for him" thing</p><p> </p><p>"Ah, right! We're happy for you Akashicchi!" Kise beamed although he was internally screaming<em> 'whattt!?'</em> in his head</p><p> </p><p>They changed the subject and everyone chats with each other about their families. A few hours later Kuroko felt unwell. He needs to get out of the restaurant to hide the petals that are about to be throw up. So, he excused himself as there is an emergency. The others said their goodbyes at him. It's almost six and dark, Kuroko covered his mouth to prevent him from completely splattering out of it. He immediately went to a place where there's a few people. Trying to stop the lump that's pushing its way up to his mouth. At last, he failed. He ends up coughing violently at the nearest public toilet</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Akashi saw him. Walking by himself at the other side of the street in Tokyo. Limping a bit</p><p> </p><p>Akashi had gone out as well after a few minutes of Kuroko's departure earlier. He decided to wander around the streets of the city. There he found his former teammate, so he decided to follow the bluenette and ask him some questions</p><p> </p><p>"Kuroko?" Akashi calls out. He noticed the little jump Kuroko made before turning around to face him</p><p> </p><p>"Oh Akashi-kun" Kuroko said trying to keep his voice normal. Akashi went closer to him and examine his features</p><p> </p><p>"You look pale"</p><p> </p><p>"I'm always pale, Akashi-kun" Kuroko said slurring a little </p><p> </p><p>Akashi deadpans. "Kuroko, are you drunk?"</p><p> </p><p>Kuroko tries not to flinch before averting his eyes away. "No"</p><p> </p><p>"It's obvious that you're drunk. You can't lie to a person like me because I'll immediately notice. So why are you drinking when you're underage?" Kuroko sweats. He feels like he's going to be scolded like a kid</p><p> </p><p>"Are you alright? Or perhaps you have problems?" Akashi asked with a hint of concern</p><p> </p><p>"I don't have a problem. Everything's fine" <em>It will</em> <em>be</em> <em>fine</em></p><p> </p><p>"You're lying" </p><p> </p><p>Kuroko flinched at those words. He stare at Akashi who state back at him. His lips, so pale. Akashi thought</p><p> </p><p>"Kuroko, what's wrong?" Akashi asked once again. This time, Kuroko chuckles. Akashi raised his eyebrow and was about to question him when the other spoke</p><p> </p><p>"I don't know what's wrong anymore. I blame you for it" Kuroko said shifting his gaze to the stars above. Akashi's eyes widened</p><p> </p><p>"What do you mean?" The bluenette was silent for a minute before answering</p><p> </p><p>"Nothing's wrong" Kuroko said. His voice so melancholic. He looked at Akashi's face again</p><p> </p><p>"Loving someone is not wrong. Especially when you know they would never return the feelings and you can't move on. Flowers in my lungs. They're as beautiful as you are, but those beautiful flowers hurts too" These words being said, Kuroko felt his lungs hurts. The lump in his throat demanding to be released. He ignored it</p><p> </p><p>"W-What.." Akashi stuttered. Afraid that what he's thinking is true. "Do you have that—"</p><p> </p><p>"Akashi-kun— relax" Kuroko said calmly, gently putting his hand on Akashi's tensed shoulder. His other hand cupping the side of Akashi's cheek, leaning in</p><p> </p><p>"Forgive me, Akashi-kun" Kuroko said took advantage of the situation as he kissed the other male. Akashi let it happen. Still surprised but didn't push him away. The kiss was sweet and bitter. Akashi could smell the alcohol in him</p><p> </p><p>Kuroko pulled back suddenly and coughs. Akashi who got worried, gently pat his back</p><p> </p><p>He started throwing up petals and lots of blood. Akashi's heart raced when he saw the amount of blood being thrown up. He immediately called for help</p><p> </p><p>"N-No.. Akashi-kun... Let i-it—" He didn't finished his sentence when he suddenly collapsed on the ground into his pool of blood. Akashi got even more worried. He crouch down and held the bluenette's head gently on his lap</p><p> </p><p>"Kuroko, hang on there" He whispers softly. Without looking up, Kuroko reach his hand out to touch Akashi's cheek once again</p><p> </p><p>"Akashi-kun. D-Dry your tears.. P-Please..." Were Kuroko's final words until he fell into the darkness</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Kuroko woke up in a white room. Syringes displayed beside him on the table. An IV fluid. He's clearly in the hospital</p><p> </p><p>Kuroko felt numb. And his breathing was fine again. He supposed that the flowers were already removed. So was his feelings. He looked around to see a few of his Seirin teammates. His captain and his coach, and everyone. Looking down in misery. He looks to the other side and saw his middle school teammates. All of them wear dull faces</p><p> </p><p>"Oh Kuroko. He's awake!" Kagami exclaimed catching everyone's attention. They all looked at Kuroko and smiled widely. Very happy that their phantom regains his consciousness</p><p> </p><p>"Kuroko! Thank goodness you already woke up!"</p><p> </p><p>"You had us really worried!"</p><p> </p><p>"I knew it. Something was really up but you chose to hide it from us!" Hyuuga exclaimed looking at his kouhai who gave him an apologetic look</p><p> </p><p>"Tetsu-kun! Please don't hide stuff from us like that!"</p><p> </p><p>"You should really take care of yourself"</p><p> </p><p>"A tsundere like you starting to care for others?" The tanned male teased annoying the green head</p><p> </p><p>"Shut up Aomine"</p><p> </p><p>"Kuro-chin is mean~ Keeping it all to himself when he can share it with us" Kuroko blinked. Everyone was looking at him with happy and concerned faces. Some are demanding an explanation for how he can hide it away from them</p><p> </p><p>"I'm really sorry, everyone" Kuroko said. Making the others huffed</p><p> </p><p>"You better be Kurokocchi! You were so pale when we found you and Akashicchi!" Kise whined as he crossed his arms with a pout</p><p> </p><p>"Akashi-kun..?" Kuroko blurts out and look around the room to find him but he's not there</p><p> </p><p>"Where's Akashi-kun by the way?" Everyone looked at each other and looks like they were debating on who's going to tell him. Before someone could speak, the door opens and reveals a red haired teen </p><p> </p><p>"Akashicchi!" Kise was the first to exclaim. A smile on his face and he noticed that everyone is smiling as well. He looks up to see Kuroko awake</p><p> </p><p>"Kuroko, you're alright" Akashi spoke. It almost came out as a whisper. Kuroko just smiles looking at the red haired teen. He feels awfully empty</p><p> </p><p>"Yes, I'm alright" <em>Finally</em></p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I planned to kill a character but no I'm not going to do it. I change my mind</p><p>(I don't know how to end it properly)</p></blockquote></div></div>
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